I realized drugs and drinking didn’t help

I’ve always been insecure so one day at a friend house when I was barely 12, I had a shot of tequila. I liked it because it calmed me down and made me feel more confident at first. Then when I got into heavier drinking I realized that confidence I had when I drank wasn’t real so I felt so lost in everything I’d thought I was, was I still the same girl from before? So I drank more from the depression. I lost so many friend and gained the wrong kinds of new ones. My parents had no clue. No one but my ‘friends’ did. I tried stopping on my own but I never had the self-motivation or the courage. I finally got help from my only friend who was real and she helped me so much. Now a year later I still struggle but I look back and am so happy I stopped. It gets better but you can’t do it yourself.