Living in an affluent suburb of New York City and attending an incredibly pricy college () on the East Coast, I am surrounded by privilege. From what I’ve seen, privilege and high expectations go hand-in-hand. The pressure to exsel in every class and extra-curricular activity prompts many teens and young adults to turn to prescription drugs, whether prescribed, or purchased illegally. It scares me to see the abuse of drugs like Adderall and Vyvanse normalized in college settings. Stemming from challenging assignments and long nights of studying, I’ve witnessed classmates turning to drugs – including dangerously addictive opiates – to cope during the week, then let go on the weekend.

It pained me to see a close friend of mine turn to prescription drugs, purchased illegally, when overwhelmed at a party. Popping a Percocet at a 21st birthday party after hours of drinking is both emblematic and symptomatic of our country’s current drug epidemic driven by prescription painkillers – like Percocet – which are powerful opioids, belonging to the same class of drugs as heroin.

Every person faces challenges which can be a struggle cope with, however, in the absence of having ever developed more healthy coping skills, many teens and young adults turn to drug use, frequently unaware that many prescription drugs can become equally as dangerous as snorting cocaine or injecting meth.

Drug use is prevalent across all segments of society, from city streets to affluent suburbs, and addiction doesn’t discrinimate. Educate yourself and help educate others; its the first step in combating what has truly become an epidemic. And more importantly, we need to help and support our friends and loved ones who could be at risk. Fostering healthy coping mechanisms, such as excercise or talk-therapy, is a great start!

The post Privilege, Pressure & Pills appeared first on Above the Influence.

The acid reflux was actually a symptom of gallstones, and after two attacks in one week, I was told that I needed surgery to remove my gall bladder. I am an international student, so with no family here in the US, my friends accompanied me to the hospital. After surgery I was discharged with a prescription for medicine I had never heard of before. I had it filled the following day as I was in extreme pain. The directions said to allow four hours in between each dose, as required. My friends and I translated this to mean that I had to take a dosage every four hours.

Hence I started taking Percocet (Oxycodone) every four hours for two days on an empty stomach (I had lost my appetite due to the gas pumped into my stomach to aid the surgery). My friend, doing her best to be helpful and take care of me, had a timer on her phone and would remind me to take my medicine. Pain or no pain, I kept taking the pills.

Never having dealt with a medical situation by myself before, I assumed these pills were good for me and would not only help me with the pain, but also heal me somehow. I was given no instructions by my doctor or nurses on what this medication was for, how to use it properly or what the consequences of misuse could be. Even though the medicine helped me with the pain, after two days I was unable to open my eyes or even move from the bed. A friend’s mother came and picked me up the evening of the second day and told me to stop taking the medicine immediately.

An hour after skipping my dosage my body started shaking and I started feeling nauseas. I threw up multiple times that night and could not close my eyes due to dizziness. My head would spin in circles if I tried to sleep for more than five minutes. After consulting with a family doctor, it was determined that my body was going through withdrawal. I had all the symptoms an addicted person experiences in the initial stages of denying their body of the substance it has become used to consuming.

This was when I found out the medicine I had been taking is extremely addictive, and even though it subdued my pain, it did more damage than good. Oxycodone has one of the highest rates of addiction in America and many of those addictions began with a legal prescription just like mine.

The doctors, nurses and even the pharmacist provided no warning about the potential side effects. I was never told that these are highly addictive pills. There were minimal instructions on the pill bottle and no mention on the discharge form of how this medication should be used with caution. Plus, I was given 30 pills! It only took SEVEN pills before I experienced withdrawal symptoms.

Had someone better informed not intervened, I could have finished the 30 pills within only four days, and overdose would have been a real risk. Symptoms of an opioid overdose include depressed respiration, extreme drowsiness progressing to stupor or coma, muscle flaccidity and cardiac arrest that can lead to death. I was fortunate that someone recognized the danger I was in, and acted quickly.

My own naivety of the medication I was being prescribed is a little embarrassing given the circumstances. But my friends were just as naive, and given the statistics on opioid addiction, so are a lot of other people! It’s estimated that between 26.4 and 36 million people abuse opioids worldwide. It’s disconcerting how easily I could have become a statistic.

My experience highlights a lot of flaws in the system. But until more changes are in place, the most important thing you can do is to educate yourself and others.

The post How My Acid Reflux Nearly Lead to an Overdose appeared first on Above the Influence.

2. Anxiety is not just a person being nervous all the time. It takes on physical symptoms like sweating, increased heart rate and tiredness, which can make every day a battle.

3. Lip biting can be an overlooked sign of an anxiety disorder.

4. Peer pressure can trigger or exacerbate Anxiety, especially for anyone who’s already at risk.

5. For someone with Anxiety, you never know what might trigger a panic attack.

6. Aside from medications, exercise, sports, the Arts, and meditation are all good was to cope with Anxiety.

7. There’s a movement called Project Semicolon which provides support to, and advocates for people with Anxiety and other mental health conditions. They say “A semicolon represents a sentence the author could have ended, but chose not to. The sentence is your life and that author is you.” It’s a great reminder to not let your anxiety stop you from living your life!

The post 7 Things I’d Like You to Know about Anxiety appeared first on Above the Influence.

Do you have a friend who is struggling with low self-esteem? Be a force for good and help them. If you go out of your way to help them, your friends could go on to do great things. The biggest obstacle for most people’s success is the crippling thought that they will fail and shouldn’t even try. Here are five ways you can support a friend to help build their confidence.

1. Give a Compliment
Complimenting somebody is such a simple thing, yet people are strangely afraid of it. Giving a compliment doesn’t make you weak or annoying. Everybody enjoys getting a compliment and it makes them feel good about themselves.

Complimenting a friend on a normal basis will make them feel better about themself. It’s so powerful that a single compliment can change how someone views themselves and feel more secure in who they are.

2. Take the Time to Listen
Everybody is struggling with something. The longer you know somebody, the easier it is to see when something is bothering them. Yet people don’t like to talk about their problems, in fear of being seen as a downer or complainer.

People need to talk about their issues to work through them, so starting conversations and actually listening to them can be a big help. These conversations need to be a judgment-free zone so your friends can feel safe when talking to you. This doesn’t need to be a time for fixing their problems or criticizing their judgements, it’s the time for letting them get their problems off their chest.

3. Support their Leadership
Developing leadership skills is important for life, but so many people having trouble seeing themselves as a leader. Leadership opportunities happen more often than you’d think; take advantage of them and help friends do the same. Suggesting something for you and your friends to do this weekend makes you the “leader” in that decision. Hosting a party makes you the party’s leader. Giving a presentation in front of the class makes you the leader of the classroom, even for a short time. Plus there are more traditional leadership roles, like team captain, club president and leader in a group project.

Aside from developing your own leadership skills, you can support others when they’re in a lead role. Show up to important events, and provide vocal support and positive feedback. If you have a friend who is shy or does their best to avoid taking the lead, give them opportunities to make smaller group decisions and ease into it.

4. Encourage Friends to do Great Things
I never thought I was a good public speaker. When I was younger, I had a terribly thick lisp. I sounded more like a snake than I did a human being.

So whenever my school had some sort of public speaking event, like a spelling bee or a poetry reading event, I cringed. These type of events would put me on several levels of public display, from practicing with a classmate, to sitting in front of the entire school. I had a friend who understood this, so when the announcement went out for the annual Poetry contest, he pushed me to not quit because of my lisp. He wanted to see me win the contest for my school and encouraged me through every step of the contest.

Long story short, I ended up winning the contest for my elementary school and went on to compete at a regional level. It may not seem like a huge achievement to some, but for a child with a heavy lisp, this was huge. So be the friend who encourages others to take a risk and do something great.

5. Accept Them For Who They Are
Your friends might be struggling with figuring out who they are, and that’s ok. As a friend, it’s your job to accept and support them. Be proactive about celebrating their accomplishments, support them during their hard times, and be a friend.

Part of accepting someone is standing up for them. Nothing can destroy someone’s confidence like getting bullied, and when we let bullying happen unchecked, we’re a part of the problem. Don’t just be a bystander; get involved and help.

The post 5 Ways You Can Help Build a Friend’s Confidence appeared first on Above the Influence.

In high school, we are often warned about the dangers of peer pressure, of domestic violence, of drugs and alcohol, but how often are we warned about the devastating effects of emotionally abusive parents? I spent years taking mental hits and being corroded into someone completely different from me. I self-harmed and felt suicidal. I made fatal plans. I was prepared to take my own life because I felt so unworthy and worthless.

If these same feelings haunt you, your best choice is to speak out, no matter the consequences you think your parents will deliver. If I had not told one of my teachers, who got me to counseling, who got me to the hospital, who got me to my counselor who helped me deal with the war inside my head between depression, anxiety, and fear, I might very well be dead. My parents were upset, yes. In public, they were worried and concerned about me. In private, after the initial shock of my confession wore off, they once again became hateful toward me, accusing me of exaggeration and attention-seeking behaviors.

The thing is, with everything I had dealt with so far by myself, once I had help that my parents could not deny me, I could handle their treatment. I finally began to feel hopeful that I could survive my high school years, that one day I could move out and be who I am without being treated horribly.

With that help, I made it to my graduation day. I felt jubilant when I crossed the stage and received my diploma, unable to stop smiling. Every pain, every horrible day, everything was worth it in the end. Particularly when I moved in with my best friend a few days later, feeling even happier.

Getting help, getting better, reaching out for support will always be worth it. When I move into my dorm in less than two weeks to enjoy the freedoms college gives, that is what I will be thinking. I will be thinking about how much I deserve to live my life after all I have survived. I will be thinking about how I am going to do great in my classes, join volunteer groups, and destroy the competition in cross-country meets. I will be thinking about how I have finally found a home.

If you cannot call your parents’ household home because of the terrible treatment you get there or if you feel the need to self-harm or kill yourself, reach out for help. As someone on the other side of all the bad, I cannot begin to describe just how much all this good outweighs the horrors of the past.

If you are in crisis, text “ABOVE” to 741-741 from anywhere in the US, anytime, about any type of crisis. A live, trained counselor is ready to help. 

The post When it Hurts to Go Home appeared first on Above the Influence.

Actually, think of the complete opposite of self-esteem. Whatever word you come up with is probably the word to describe how I was feeling from 2012-late 2014/early 2015.

I’m not going to lie; myself and I did not get along well at all. I despised everything about myself; I hated my body, I hated my personality, I thought I was stupid, I thought I was ugly, I thought no one would ever love me.

What I want to ask is…why? Why do we think this way?

Is it unrealistic standards, bullying, are we just hardwired that way, or a weird combination of any of the three?

My opinion… it’s the last one. Yes, unrealistic standards are EVERYWHERE in this society. Everyone obsesses about the most attractive celebrity… leaving others to feel quite inadequate. Bullying is an obvious one: anyone who has been bullied can tell you that that will lower you self-esteem quicker than most things.

And I say “most” things for a reason, because we are our biggest bullies.

The world is not a perfect place. I think that is in universal agreement, no matter what religion you believe in or what worldviews you have. People suck, and we are our harshest critic.

I’ll use myself as an example, because like I said, I have never had the best self-esteem. I have body dysmorphic disorder. Everyday, when I look in the mirror, I see myself as fat. Am I fat? Probably not; I’m definitely not skinny or ripped, but I’m not fat either. I used to be, but I can’t see myself as anything other than fat.

I don’t care who you talk to, whether it’s the kid in your class no one else talks to, or the captain of the football team; we’re all insecure in some way or another. Anyone who says anything different is lying. When we all wake up in the morning, there’s something that bothers us. And just because it could be totally different – whether it’s thinking you’re fat or you’re too skinny or you’re ugly or that you’re stupid – it’s as valid of an insecurity as any other.

What I’m trying to say is that you are NOT alone.

Why do we think this way though? Who are we trying to impress?

I’ll give you an answer: we’re trying to be happy.

Happiness is a funny thing; it’s different for everybody. But we focus too much on it. Life will suck at times, and that is a fact. We cannot avoid it, and that’s okay. We can’t be happy all the time, because if we’re always happy, we are never happy.
We give ourselves these unrealistic standards, because we want to be comfortable.

We can’t all look like Chris Pratt or Jennifer Lawrence (those are the attractive celebrities, right? I don’t know anymore. Ha.) We can’t all be as good at sports as the captain of the football team, or as smart as the valedictorian (note: they’re probably not the best or smartest, either.) We are who we are. We can always make improvements, but ultimately, we’re made to be who we are made to be.

And that’s okay.

Finally, I just want to say… if you’re going through self-image struggles, it’s going to be okay. You will be okay… you’re beautiful the way you are.

The post We Are Who We Are appeared first on Above the Influence.

June 26, 2015. In a 5-4 ruling, the United States Supreme Court decided that same-sex marriage is a right for those who wish to marry nationwide.

It’s a huge step in American history, allowing marriage equality for everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, across all fifty states.

Despite this, there are those who oppose anything other than heterosexuality outright. It makes things difficult for those who do not identify as “straight.”

I am a student. I am a nondenominational Christian, a gamer, a plethora of other things. Oh, and I am bisexual. Despite the huge progress we’ve made towards equality, the world doesn’t fully embrace those of us who aren’t heterosexual.

Depending on your surroundings, it can even be difficult to embrace and accept it yourself. You may try to convince yourself that you’re straight. Throughout high school, I lived with my very religious father and stepmother. They still don’t know I’m bisexual, and I never plan on telling them (more on that later). Often times, it takes weeks, months, even years to come to terms with one’s sexual identity. I myself only came to terms with it less than two years ago. If you only pay attention to one thing I have to say, then listen up: You are not alone.

There are plenty of other people going through the same challenges you are. Many people struggle with their sexual identity, and “coming out” is one of the hardest things to do.

That being said, there’s nothing abnormal about differing sexual identities. I’ve known several people all over the spectrum, those who identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, pansexual… The list goes on. And they are all perfectly normal, wonderful people. Your sexual identity does not define who you are. It is only a small part of you, and only affects your love for other people in a positive way. But to love others, you first have to love yourself.

The first thing you have to do is take a look at yourself, whether in a mirror or just a mental reflection of yourself. Take a deep breath. Relax. Ready? Okay. Then look at your reflection and acknowledge that, yes, you have different interests than others and yes, you are okay. You are still a beautiful person, and nothing about who you find attractive is going to change that. Find someone you can trust, and who you know will support you.

Once you’ve done that, you’re on your way. You are okay. There is nothing wrong about who you like. After accepting myself, I told my mom, my sister, and her husband. They’re all incredibly supportive of me and simply want me to be happy, regardless of what gender my significant other may end up being.

Coming out is difficult, and it’s not a one-time thing. With each new person you meet, you have to decide if you trust them enough to tell them. Not everyone is going to be accepting. There are those who will degrade you, call you derogatory slurs and maybe even attempt to harm you. As I mentioned previously, I have no intentions of telling my father or my step-mother.

Surround yourself with the people in your life that truly matter, your friends and family that will love and support you. In addition, there are plenty of resources for young LGBT+ people out there, and they aren’t difficult to find.

Remember, young men, women, and everyone in between – you are not worth less because of who you like. You are not any less of a person. And you are not alone.

The post Young Men, Women, and Everyone in Between: You Are Not Alone appeared first on Above the Influence.

• One out of every four students (22%) report being bullied during the school year (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2015)
• The reasons for being bullied most often cited by students were looks (55%), body shape (37%), and race (16%) (Davis and Nixon, 2010)
• Only 36% reported the bullying to an adult or other authority figure (Petrosina, Guckenburg, DeVoe, and Hanson, 2010)

Being #AbovetheInfluence isn’t just about saying no to drugs, or saying no to alcohol, or saying no to cigarettes. It can also apply to another serious subject: bullying.

It is so easy to get caught up with friends and go along with the crowd, even when that means hurting someone else. And in the heat of the moment, we tend to forget that our actions have consequences. Sometimes pretty serious ones. Bullied victims are 7 to 9% more likely to consider suicide according to a study by Yale University. Similarly, studies in Britain have found half of the suicides among youth related to bullying. According to yet another study by ABC News over 30,000 children stay home every day due to the fear of being bullied.

Bullying can be physical and emotional, and it can take place in person and online. Whether or not you’ve helped perpetuate it, believe it or not, you have the ability to help end it — more than half of bullying situations (57%) stop when a peer intervenes on behalf of the student being bullied (Hawkins, Pepler, and Craig, 2001).

Are you someone that wants to put others down, or would you rather raise them up? Think about it, and decide for yourself. We can be Above the Influence of Bullying. #LetsEndIt.

Have you experienced bullying? Or intervened to help stop it? Join — or start — the conversation on our Facebook page.

The post #LetsEndIt: Some Facts about Bullying appeared first on Above the Influence.

Some would say I was given significantly more freedom than most teens in high school living at home with their parents. Although I definitely gained independence, there was strict adult supervision at all times, and a zero tolerance policy for drugs and alcohol. If you dabbled with substance use on or off campus, you faced the threat of expulsion. My classmates and I cherished our opportunities at Taft, so expulsion was definitely something to be avoided. With the exception of a few students, who faced severe consequences as a result, drugs and alcohol were absent on campus. Reflecting on my high school experience, I consider myself lucky for having not had those temptations or distractions.

We were too busy with academics, a variety of extracurriculars and our somewhat odd academic schedule. Saturday classes kept us focused, for the most part, on Friday nights, and even more excited to finally unwind on Saturday nights.

Some of my friends from home assumed weekend nights on Taft’s campus couldn’t possibly be fun; they were very wrong. There were always multiple school-sponsored events – carnivals, concerts, dances, and sometimes even a circus. It sounds childish or cheesy, but everyone thoroughly enjoyed the acrobatics, animals, and rope courses frequently set up in the gym. And while some high school dances may not be widely attended, everyone went to the dances at Taft. Some of my best memories are of time spent hanging out with my friends in the student center, playing pool, watching TV, and just simply relaxing.

For me, the temptation to drink and do drugs simply did not exist in high school. As a result, I found myself well prepared to reject the all-too-common notion that college is all about drinking and partying. I already knew how to have a great time socializing without drinking. My experiences in high school taught me that whatever you choose to do, know that you don’t have to drink or get high to have a great time. Just as with my boarding school, there is far more to college life than partying, despite the common misconception. However you choose to relax and enjoy yourself, know that there are plenty of great experiences in store for you!

The post Boarding School Never Left Us Bored appeared first on Above the Influence.

For us nerds, grades are important. Not only because our parents would ground us to no end if we did badly in school, but because some of the subjects that we take, we actually really like, so we’re motivated to do well. Science, Math, English (yes, writing nerds exist), among other subjects, were our bread and butter. During my senior year, I took mostly technology classes like Web Design and Technical Computer Applications, because I adore computers, tech, and how it all works. I even became a Tennessee State Champion in SkillsUSA for Technical Computer Applications. My other nerd compatriots got top honors in their technology classes as well, and passed the rest of their classes with flying colors. To us, academic success mattered enough to not take our chances with risky behaviors.

During lunch, when we had time to goof off, me and my nerd amigos went to the computer lab of our favorite teacher, Mr. Thomas, and played a modded edition of Halo: Combat Evolved. It was the best part of the school day, and united us as a band of brothers (and sisters too). I remember us all shouting  “Hadouken!” whenever we hit someone with the sticky grenade via a sniper rifle, and I miss those times. Grades came first (and they still do), but we always managed to find time to bond over a game or two.

So, here’s my advice… stop trying so hard to “fit in”  with the right group of kids. The right group is the one that will let you be yourself! Its members will share the same interests as you, support you, and motivate you to succeed. If you haven’t found it, try  talking to a nerd, or even make friends with one, because believe me… we have a lot to offer!

The post Embracing Nerd Life appeared first on Above the Influence.