Self-hate

I honestly don’t know why I’m here. I’m barely ever bullied and everyone likes me. They think I’m so happy and such a great friend. Maybe I am, but I wouldn’t know. I am full of self-hate. I just can’t seem to find any likeable thing about myself. Because of this, most people think of me as a drama queen. And for having so many, non-backstabbing, “friends,” they think I’m an idiot for thinking of myself as alone. I know that this is totally dramatic, but I really truly am alone. I just want to move away and start fresh. But you can’t just delete your life. And deleting it will still leave scars. You have to fix it, mend the heart. After a while I have sort of come to an understanding that maybe I’m not as bad as I thought I was. Some kind people out there, who’s lives are no longer existent, have shown me how good I can be. You just have to understand that there will always be someone out there that sees no imperfections at all within you. Your beautiful inside and out.

Umbra, Alaska